


Requited

by MightyPen



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 04:32:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7419898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MightyPen/pseuds/MightyPen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Commander Ethan Shepard learns he has a heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Requited

"I think that's a new record for you, Commander," Joker snidely remarked, the amusement dripping in his voice. "Did she actually stay in your cabin for longer than five hours? You know what they say about if your erection lasts longer than four, maybe you should have Chakwas check you out, oh, wait...she probably already has hasn't she?"

Ethan smacked the pilot against the back of his head, rolling his eyes at the disrespect, but an amused smile still curled the corner of his lips. "How much longer until we're clear to dock?"

"Shouldn't be more than a few minutes, sir. You'd think the ship with the first human specter and savior of the galaxy wouldn't have to wait at all."

\-----

That was how things used to be. Ethan had always been the type to indulge himself in pleasures of every kind, from the simple waste of credits on model ships for his collection, to the more elaborate conquests of just about any female that crossed his path and sparked his interest. It was never difficult to convince a woman into his bed. After all, he was the greatest hero in the cosmos.

But in all of this, he'd never once felt any sort of magnetism toward any of the women he's been with. They were gorgeous, for the most part, and certainly an entertaining means to an end. But he didn't have feelings for any of them, and he was fine with that. Liara had tried to push past that emotional barrier he always had up, but he never fed her back what she wanted and she eventually lost heart and pursued her own experiences, and eventually found herself dealing information.

But all that Ethan found himself in was this persistent cloud that seemed to follow him around, and pop up at the most unreasonable times.

It was always about this same woman. One he'd hardly paid much notice to at all for her being a quarian. He had never bothered trying to pursue her when she'd first joined his crew while on her pilgrimage. She was interesting, and a very skilled technician, a strong addition to the crew, but he knew enough about quarians to know that it would be pointless to try and add her to his list of conquests. She'd get sick, very likely even die. She was too valuable an asset to his team, and of course, he wasn't that heartless. He wouldn't risk the safety of another life just for a romp in the sheets, no matter how big his reputation for essentially being a manwhore.

After life had given him a second chance, he'd gone right back to his old ways, having already taken a turn with multiple women from his new Cerberus crew in only a matter of weeks during his new mission to stop the Collectors. But when he'd seen Tali again, that cloud crept into his brain and stayed there, whispering that he had to get her on his crew.

It was only logical for the mission. She was a far better technician than even those couple of "genius" engineers that he had on his crew. She'd been a valuable addition to the team.

When he finally did have her aboard the Normandy, he couldn't help but take notice of how much she'd changed in the two years he'd been gone. She was more confident, strong--definitely not the same naive child as she'd been when he met her on her pilgrimage. He brushed it off and continued expanding his team.

\-----

When he stood before the council members of the quarian ship, he found himself wondering why it even was that he felt so compelled to defend her against their judgement. And he didn't expect to experienced the clutching sting of disappointment in his chest when they ordered her exile. He found he'd wrapped his arms around her after the trial, her slender frame nestled up against his chest as he tried to comfort her for no other reason than feeling compelled to do so. He'd listened to her talk about her people on various occasions, knew how much they meant to her, and felt regret for knowing he could have spoken out and prevented it, prevented her own internal distress he was sure she felt.

But why?

She wasn't like a sister to him. He'd had that connection with Ashley before she died. She'd always felt like family to him from the day they met. It puzzled him to no end how to classify Tali'Zorah. She wasn't a sexual partner, she wasn't an honorary sister. She was a team mate, a crew member. But there was something else he couldn't place, and just thinking about it kept him awake some nights.

\-----

He laid beneath his sheets, panting breathlessly with a wide grin on his face as Kelly mumbled against his neck. His chuckles dissipated as he caught the words she said, and he pulled himself away from her embrace. "I had made myself clear before, this isn't about love, Chambers. Strictly pleasure mixed in with business. No attachments here. This is a suicide mission, and you and I both knew the risks when we signed on for this."

But the woman only laughed and pulled the sheet up around her chest, propping her head up on her elbow to look at him. "Not me, I was talking about Tali," smiled, enjoying the confusion that spread across the commander's face.

"You love Tali?" he asked, puzzled, and for some reason bothered. He knew Kelly was almost as free spirited, if not more so than he was and she had no qualms being attracted to any alien species or genders. But her having feelings for Tali made him bristle with irritation.

She laughed again, "No, you do."

He looked at her like she was crazy, shaking his head immediately and scoffing at the very idea. "That's ridiculous."

"Well, she's in love with you. Isn't it obvious? But I suppose it is my job to understand the crew and where they stand in various psychological matters. But don't even try to deny that you have feelings for her," she snickered and sat up to begin redressing and collecting her things. "It's as plain as the nose on your face. And honestly, I'd suggest you get that fine ass of yours over to Engineering soon and talk to her again before it gets too late. As you said, this is a suicide mission. You might only have one chance to tell her."

\-----

It wasn't until he'd gotten halfway through undressing Miranda that it finally clicked for him. It didn't feel the same as usual, the adrenaline, the rush of whatever bullshit science he didn't care about that made him feel alive, stirring an appetite that could only by quelled by one act. But it wasn't the same that time with Miranda. They were just fixing up the ship, waiting for the upgrades to take before they jumping into the Omega 4 relay. What could possibly be better than we-might-die-tomorrow sex, especially with the one woman on his ship that was by far his equal on every front, back, and side.

"What's wrong?" she asked as his hands slipped away.

Brows knit, he shook his head, "I don't think we should do this anymore. Keep things professional. I need you sharp for the mission tomorrow." Excuses.

It was that cloud in his head again, a swirling purple cloud, full of thoughts of Tali. And for the first time, a sense of guilt flooded his mind. The day before, he'd spoken to her, flirted a little as he did with everyone else. But she'd confessed that she had an interest in him. And like an asshole, he'd led her on that he felt the same for her. But at the time, he really wasn't sure for himself. He knew he felt **something**  for her, but it wasn't until that moment that he stepped out of Miranda's room that he was sure of what it was.

He rushed down to Engineering, cursing the moron who designed the elevators to be so agonizingly slow. Where the fuck even were the stairs on this damn ship? But he didn't mull it over too long before the doors released him and he turned the corner to Tali's station.

He reached out to put his hand on her shoulder, a small smile on his lips as she stuttered a greeting.

"Do you have time to talk?" he asked her calmly.

Of course, she did. The engineers were handling the upgrades and she had nothing else to keep her busy while they waited. So they made their way to the back of the engineering deck for a bit more privacy to their conversation.

He came clean then, told her that he'd left Miranda when he realized that it was only Tali that he wanted. Even with the visor down, he could tell she was blushing behind it as she confirmed her own desire to be with him. He held her hands, and his forehead came to rest upon hers as he tried to keep down the ridiculous string of commentary at the back of his mind. He'd never been one for these kind of soft emotional moments. And he wasn't sure how to really make them not feel awkward or forced. But it just didn't feel right to treat Tali like any of his other relationships. This one was special. She meant so much to him. And risking her health was out of the questio--

"I want you to see what's under this damn mask," she murmured, catching him off guard.

He asked about the suit, how opening any of it could make her sick, and that he couldn't risk her well being like that. But she insisted there would be a way for it to work.

He wrapped her in his arms again before departing to check on the ship's upgrade work and get an estimate of time before they'd hit the relay. It wouldn't be long now.

\-----

Finally, he got the go ahead, and he ordered his crew to take a few hours to rest up, restock their weapons, and buff up their armor. Then they'd start up the relay.

As he was counting out his magazines in his cabin, Ethan heard a knock at his door. Opening them, he let Tali in, a small grin of relief that he'd have one more chance to speak with her before they took off.

She led with explaining to him that she had taken herbal supplements and immune boosters, but it quickly derailed into a babbling mess. But Ethan only shook his head with a chuckle, and carefully went to remove her mask after she insisted she would be alright.

His heart stopped beating for a moment, the second he laid eyes on her. She was stunning, far more beautiful than he'd ever imagined. Her features were very human for the most part, and her skin had a soft sheen of violet that hadn't been entirely due to the visor she wore. But he had little time to appreciate it, as she pounced forward and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her back, and held her close, this one beautiful woman he'd ever dare to say he loved. His quarian queen.


End file.
